MIKE’S OPINIONS

A bi-weekly commentary on things about or related to ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, etc.  By Mike Gingerich, an ADD adult, a parent, and a mental health practitioner with 35 years experience.

For the weeks of:  April 1-14, 2009

Greetings!  This is my first go-around at anything like this, so bear with me!

OK, I'll pick one of my favorites because it's something parents complain about often and emotionally.  School staff aren't listening, aren't accepting the child's problems, aren't following the IEP or 504 Plan, etc.  I've heard this from roughly 80-90% of my clients with special needs children.

First, to set the record straight, there are some wonderful, dedicated, and knowledgeable people in our schools.  I've met and worked with some of them.  You can just tell they care about kids, they go the extra mile, they are solution-focused, they try to learn more. 

Unfortunately, in my experience, this group makes-up about 33% of all educators.  Not enough, in my book.

Another, roughly, 33% seem to be "coasting".  They're not actively resisting dealing with the special needs child, they are sympathetic to your plight, but they just keep doing the-same-old-things and they go-with-the-flow of "the system".

Then there's the remaining 33%.  They're the one's who actively resist providing services to the special needs child.  Their resistance can take the form of anything form the mundane (ignore you, don't "see" the problem), to the outlandish ("you can't tell us what to do", "we'll counter-sue", gang-up & overwhelm tactics at meetings).  These folks are usually arrogant, defensive, and controlling.

No wonder our schools have the problems that they do!

So, here's my advice to anyone who has encountered this last group:

     1. Avoid dealing with these people as much as possible.

     2. Go over-their-heads.  To their boss/supervisor.

     3. Do this soon.  Don't wait for the end of the quarter, semester, etc. to "see-how-it-goes".

     4. Know what you want for your child.  Which services, accommodations, assistive technology, etc.

     5. Don't rely just on assessment done by the school.  Go to outside professionals.

     6. Never, ever, ever, go to a school meeting alone!  Always take someone else along.  They needn't say a

         word.  Sometimes just a second set of ears is invaluable.

     7. Always be civil & diplomatic.  This doesn't mean you can't say that your "angry" or feel you're being

         "discriminated against".

     8. Refuse to deal with these people (if necessary).  Usually, the more you try, the worse it gets, right?

     9. Find school staff that represent that first 33% I described.  Keep a list of their names and phone

         numbers, and FAX numbers, and email addresses.  Develop a working-relationship with 1 or 2 in

         particular.  Make these your primary contacts at the school.

   10. Don't give up!  Keep pushing.  Make a nuisance of yourself, it's OK, it works!  Remember, "the squeaky

         wheel gets the grease"!

Mike G.